it is not about anyone IN PARTICULAR, it is not about anything IN PARTICULAR, it is about a combination of things, a combination of people, and they all got started… because of me.
not being there prevents me from thinking something that i dont want to think about, not that anyone would tell me beforehand whos going to be there or what is going to happen. lately, that happens more often. i dont know why it got to me now and it didnt get to me before, maybe by caring less or letting things go easier would help me more.
its actually all right. nobody listens to me or care what i said, like many other people, but its fine, ive been through that, and i can do it again.
its all because of me. i blame myself. by not being there, makes me stay a little positive. just a little bit. hopefully.